Vancouver SANTACON 2K3 - Saturday December 20th

Vancouver - Saturday December 20th
'Tis the season for Santa to put on a cheap red suit
and go out on the town.
Vancouver's fourth annual Santa Rampage,
a cacophonist exercise in guerilla
street theatre and unbridled public debauchery, will paddle
the ass of consumerism this yuletide season.
Santarchy lives! Beware the Red Menace!

Yep, it's official, Santacon will begin tomorrow, Saturday December 20th
Put on your cheap red suit, grab some candy canes and a can of snow and get ready for some serious fun. Warning: may include excessively inebriated Santas and gratuitous jollyness.

2pm: The Marine Club, 573 Homer Street @ Dunsmuir.

5:30pm/6pm: Santa Vs. the Snowman - 3D imax movie at Canada Place. Movie starts at 6pm, Santa should be there by 5:45 at latest!
Special discounted cost -$5.50 per Santa. Please have change ready.

7pm: Jolly Taxpayer Pub - after the movie, Santa will converge on the Jolly Taxpayer Pub, 828 West Hastings Street, between Hornby & Howe. Santa gets a FREE SHOOTER and some good cheap pub fare! Santa will be very hungry by then!

The following are Santa's cellphone numbers if you can't make it to these 3
meetup points, or if you get lost, try these numbers.
Santa may be too f*cked up by the end of the night to answer, though...
Shameless Santa : 604-617-2564
Spanky Santa: 604-562-7836
Shimmy/jody: 604-836-1558
Squishy Claws:  604-307-0690

 To keep updated on all of these local Santacon events, or if you need accomodations in Vancouver,  check out the discussion list at http://www.topica.com/lists/SantaConVan or bookmark this site!

What is SantaCon? See these links for previous years & info: 2002, 2001 & 2000.

Some humour: Season's Warnings

What you need:

  • A Santa suit, Mrs. Claus outfit, or some such costume. Really anything red-ish with a Santa hat will do. There is safety in numbers, you'll blend in! (Dollar stores are the cheapest source) (Warning: reindeer will be mounted.)

  • A deep resounding Ho Ho Ho.

  • The ability to consume large quantities of inebriating substances yet still walk (stumble) from place to place. Santa will be in no condition to drive the sleigh by the end of the evening. Heck, probably by 5 pm, if past years are any example. (p.s. bring cash to pay for your drinks, in small denominations)

  • Spray can snow is fun, as are candies or gifts for the kiddies and santa-lovers of all ages.

More info: www.santarchy.com

And, from Santa Stinkbeard, these words of Santa wisdom:

Also remember the Social Santa Guidelines....

*Every Santa is referred to as Santa, in the first, second, and third person, singular and plural.

*Have something ready to hand out, even if it's just candy canes.
NEVER wash the suit. And, uh... I forget the rest. Pass me the Pine-Sol bottle....

Santa Don'ts:

*Don't fuck with the cops If the cops tell you to do something, DO IT. If you want to get busted, do it when you and I aren't dressed the same.

*Don't fuck with little kids I'm serious, this is supposed to be fun. Holidays are unpleasant enough for kids these days. If we can't brighten it at least we can be one less worry for them. Remember: The kids of today are the weirdoes of tomorrow.

*Don't fuck with store security If they ask you to leave a store, get the hell out and be nice about it, or other Santa will take shit for it. and don't fuck with me or I'll puke on your suit, you damned imposter.